So... it's been awhile, like more months than I want to admit. Where have I been you ask, you three people who randomly run across my xanga? Well, I have been busy. I've been busy trying to figure out life post college. Busy trying to figure staff life. And busy trying to survive in the midst of all of the transition and steep, steep learning curves. All of that is just a dramatic way of saying life has been crazy this year. But, really, as I have taken time this summer to reflect on everything that's happened, it's been for the best. It's exciting to have seen God at work in my life and the lives of my students. I don't want to be all cliche about it, but, seriously, I've learned a lot and am very grateful.

Things I have been pondering lately:

1.) The Death of My Pretention: You know that friend who tries to explain to you the difference between movies and film, that will go nuts over anything with sutitles and claims that anything with the hint of mainstream music, film and books is the smell of death? There was a time in my life where I was that friend. In the past few years I've realized some things. It's okay to just enjoy things. I don't have to be learning all the time. I think I often feel guilty when I'm not wtaching serious movies or reading serious books. But the reality is I don't have the capacity to be that serious all the time. (And I'm not just saying this justify the fact that, yes, I have followed Guiding Light since I was eleven.)

2.) Cooking!: I like to cook. I can say that I do it decently well. However, one thing I would LOVE is to learn how to cook East and South Asian food well. It doesn't seem like one of those things that's self taught. I'm too unfamiliar with ingrdients and technique. Furthermore, it would sadden me too much to do it poorly. Thus, sometimes I find myself meandering around Am-Ko (an Asian market in Champaign) longingly.

In other cooking news, one of my new favorite websites is www.smittenkitchen.com. Not only does the food look great, the writer is adorable! She's always trying new things and is sometimes kind spastic. I would totally be friends with her. (I think she might be an ENFP, which gives her major props in my eyes)


3.) My New Favorite Things (I haven't really been ponering them as much as partaking): Sparkling grapfruit juice, navy and mung bean organic tomato soup, Pride and Prejudice (I scoffed it for so long and now it has become my current destress movie, thw two hour version), WALL-E :), my return to painting, my blue dress, Christianity Today, looking up recipes online, snood.

4.) Vacation: I am currently on vacation. It feels very grown up to be on vacation and think about options of what to do with my vacation. weird... I think I may go up to Chicago on Saturday.

meltdown count this week- at least 3

fundraising count this week- 87%

number of days till I actually start my job as a staff worker- 6

*thinks to self- Oh my gosh! this is really happening! I have no idea what I'm doing!

Regardless, God is still sovereign. Sometimes I just wish it were easier to believe.

82% yay! yet motivation is so low...